you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize