There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
