I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
