Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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