Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
