How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
