tell your sister to shave her snatch
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
