goodnight i made you a song goodbye
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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