was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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