In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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