I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
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She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
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I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize