no, he came in my armpit
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
love makes seman taste better
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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