I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
