His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
