Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
