dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Rumble strips road head = magical
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
