my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
