i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
