if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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