Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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