I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize