I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
