I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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