hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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