DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
