turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
