No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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