Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It's official drugs can't kill me
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
