i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i am craving dick and cupcakes
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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