i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
sarcasm needs its own font
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
