no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
