the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
