yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
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i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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