just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize