i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
