Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
