How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
