how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
