i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
