I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
