The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
