Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
