did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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