Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
