He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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