I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
