Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
This girl is more easily done than said...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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