i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
