also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
