So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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