I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
