I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
