So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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