So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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