I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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