i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
