She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
