How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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