my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I AM VODKA MAN
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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