Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
